COMPLIMENTS: Medicine and Magic for the Soul

Compliments are like spoken or written hugs; they make us feel good, they make us feel special. Each of us has at least one segment of our life where compliments are especially appreciated. Being a Mom. Or Dad. Our families. Writing. The value of our work. Our bodies. Fashion. Philosophy. Religion. Home. Living by example.

Compliments, or the lack thereof, came up several times this last week in Coaching Sessions. Although each of my clients has received many compliments in their lives, what they seemed to focus on most were the negative comments, attacks, unfair judgments, dishonest opinions . Sadly, and unconsciously, they too became more fluent in derogatory discourse.

We shifted focus to positive compliments, those previously received. The real ones. The valid ones. Not the insincere or flaky or brown-nose ones. The good juicy ones that had a profound impact on both the giver and receiver; the ones that still put a smile on our faces years later. The ones that still reverberate in the soul.

One that still holds magic for me is, “You have the body of a thoroughbred.” I am not a vain person but that short sentence struck a cord somewhere deep inside me. My husband and I were in a friend’s hot tub with a group of visitors from abroad. The hot tub, the visitors, the friend, and the husband are long gone, but every now and then when I slip into a bikini I remember those words and smile inside.

As I was writing this piece I realized many of my compliments fell into the categories that mean the most to me. My spiritual practices. My nature. My philosophy.

Spiritual practices:“You are a Bodhisattva Warrior.”“The Angel Brigade would be pleased to have you lead them.”

“Among the Light Workers, you are the most radiant.”

“You have one foot firmly grounded and one foot dancing in heaven just like an Earth Angel.”

“May I call you Reverend Grace?”

“When I think of love, I hear your name, I see your face.”

“Meditation and sanity become you.”

My nature:“The world would be a better place if more people were like you.” (I met someone just like me once and I was bored to tears!)“You are too gentle to live among wolves.” (From Shakespeare)

“You hold this community together.”

You have the patience of a saint and the imagination to solve problems like Michelangelo and DiVinci combined.

What you see is what you get; you are the most authentic person I know. (I try)

“You possess a photographic memory.” (Nice thought, but no)

“In my next life, I am going to be your dog. You treat all your rescued animals better than most people treat their children.” (That is true)

Your home is like a museum where anyone would still be comfortable putting their feet up on the coffee table.

Philosophy:“You have wisdom beyond your years.” (I was 18)“Will you head our conglomerate?” (I was 19)

“Will you run the family empire?” (I was 28)

“Thank you for being an independent thinker that cannot be bought or easily mislead.” (I was 30)

“You are everything a woman is meant to be.” (I was 35)

“You saved my life, and the life of my entire family, with your Life Skills Coaching.” (I was 48)

Nicknames:Nicknames can be a form of compliment. When I was a little girl my daddy called me “Chocolate Kisses.” Or he did until my mother put on fifty pounds and it wasn‘t so cute anymore. Lovers often give us unique nicknames as a sign of affection. Friends have called me Earth Angel, Golden One and White Bird for years.Even negative sounding nicknames can be backhanded compliments. My favorites: Ice Maiden (because I never slept with my clients) Dragon Lady (because the words I spoke could both warm and burn) and Fang (because I wouldn’t give up once I had my teeth in a project).

The most magical and medicinal compliments that still have the power to raise my soul no matter how depleted I may feel:

“If I die I want you to marry my beloved soul mate and raise my precious children.”

“I would lay down my life to save yours so the world may know your heart a bit longer.”

Each was said by unrelated people on several occasions. Both still take my breath away.

Be generous and genuine with the compliments you pay to others. Give them often. Appreciation is a miraculous tonic for the person who sips of them AND the person who pours them generously. The compliments you give today may still be magic and medicine in the heart of someone who draws on them years from now.

What was your BEST compliment?? Received?? Given?? I would love to hear your comments below!

OCEAN GRACE 

by J.S. Allen

How like the errant seas you are.

Sometimes close,

Sometimes far.

You leave me shells

To listen to

Your nearness roar,

And I remember.

I have yet

To learn the moon

That moves you,

Shining so bright

Among the stellar stars

When storms

No longer part us.

Here I stand

On this incessant

Strand of sand

Waiting for your tide

To take my hand

And pull me

Back to you.

I cannot help myself.

I love the sea,

Where the scale tailed

Siren sings to me;

Where sailors weep,

To plumb the deep

Of ocean

Mystery.

@ JS Allen, 2007

All rights reserved

Published with permission by Earth Angel Publishing

Earth Angel Publishing is proud to present a new concept in blending the visual arts with philosophy, music, poetry, and philanthropy. Earth Angel Publishing and contributing authors all celebrate divine presence, personal responsibility, creativity, social discourse and independent thinking. Contributing authors have diverse Life experiences but share a commitment to the end of suffering through the de-escalation of violence in our homes, our neighborhoods, our country and the world.

“If we fail this time . . . it will be from lack of imagination” Nelson Mandela

“AUTHENTICS” is the  subject of a new book, BLUE WATERS SPEAK TO ME, by Sapphire Grace to be released by Earth Angel Publishing in late November early December 2007. “AUTHENTICS,” a term coined by author, artist and spiritual activist Sapphire Grace, refers to a set of highly evolved life-skills she refined over a 30-year period.

“AUTHENTICS,” the result of a lifetime of meditation, prayer, study and reflection goes far beyond self-improvement to a deeper awareness and higher consciousness.

(copyright 1977-2007 by Sapphire Grace; all rights reserved)

The End of America: A Letter of Warning To A Young Patriot by Naomi Wolf was published last month by Chelsea Green. It was actually written by Wolf as a heartfelt wedding gift to two young friends. As is often the case, the piece we write to a very small, specific audience has the widest appeal. This book is drawing political fans from the far right to the far left and all persuasions inbetween.

BOOK REVIEW: 5 STARS

I personally have read this book four times this week. (And watched Wolf in a brilliant debate on C-Span at least that many times.) For those concerned about the direction we see our country headed, but are a bit rusty in our understanding of civics, this short primer is a no nonsense review of the steps that may alter American freedoms forever. Written by an outspoken advocate of Democratic liberties, Wolf sites hundreds of examples from the past and links them effortlessly to what is happening today.

“The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands . . . is the definition of tyranny,” wrote James Madison.I must admit that I am as guilty as anyone at letting my civic duties slide. My company, Earth Angel Publishing, was founded on the importance of “independent thinking.” I am ashamed of my lapse in the area of big government. First it was, “I just don’t have time to read up on all the issues and seriously study all the candidates; after all, what difference will my one vote make??” Then as election day rolled around it was, “Well I am really too busy to vote today, I will do it next time.” Next time never came.Sure, I am an outspoken critic of current policies at dinner parties and cocktails by the pool. Aren’t most of us?? But now I am asking myself, sincerely, what have I done to channel my political frustration into solid action??

I agree with Wolf; I have been so caught up in my own business, finances, life, family, friends, and fun that I really hadn’t taken the time to connect all the dots. But if we don’t start connecting the dots soon, all the wonderful opportunities that “seem” to keep us away from our citizenship responsibilities will be severely impacted.

Wolf passionately urges us to wake up: “We still have the choice to stop going down this road; we can stand our ground and fight for our nation, and take up the banner the Founders asked us to carry.” Wolf points to 10 steps that all societies go through when the powers-that-be try to grab even more power thereby curtailing all our democracy.

1. Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy 2. Create a gulag 3. Develop a thug caste

4. Set up an internal surveillance system

5. Harass citizens’ groups

6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release

7. Target key individuals8. Control the press 9. Dissent equals treason

10. Suspend the rule of law

“As Americans turn away quite leisurely, keeping tuned to internet shopping and American Idol, the foundations of democracy are being fatally corroded. Something has changed profoundly that weakens us unprecedentedly: our democratic traditions, independent judiciary and free press do their work today in a context in which we are “at war” in a “long war” - a war without end, on a battlefield described as the globe.” Naomi Wolf, author of The End of America.

It does not matter to me if we share the same political views. My core belief includes the value of independent thinking. I respect all opinions that are borne of the rigors of self-reflection, honest debate and open perspective. Get involved!! Time is of the essence!!

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I try very hard to make each and every article I publish original in thought and content. If you believe it is time for all of us to wake up, please consider giving this article a “thumbs” up and leaving a Comment below!! Maybe even become a Fan!!

Blessings, Earth Angel!!